Manners – worthless or so very worth it?

In a 24 hour world, where the bottom line is key, freelance writer Babu Basu asks, “Should we make time for manners?”

Cash is king they tell me, and they’d be right.

At one point or another, all entrepreneurs have lost sleep worrying about liquidity. Assets are useful, staff are supportive, but cash… cash is the Swiss army knife in an entrepreneur’s inventory. With a million and one uses, money is of major importance, but should it be our only concern?

Some would say I’m being naive, but I believe that manners and decency should take equal billing.

Firms need to think about the impact their activities have on the rest of the world. In carrying out those activities, staff need to think about manners and their effect on people they work with.

The manners?

There was a time when we used to say, “Manners maketh the man”. How you behaved was a mark of the person you were.

The UK population was famed for its good manners. Jokes were made about it. Watch National Lampoons European Vacation and you’ll see Brits apologising when other people tread on their feet, or crash into their car.

How things have changed.

According to an article written by Murray Wardrop, from The Telegraph dated December 2008, Britons are “becoming ruder than ever as our lives become more stressful and hectic.”

I wonder, are companies too focused on the financials, massacring our manners? Is the emphasis on the ‘here and now’ damaging our ‘going forward’?

But don’t just blame business. Have a look our failing education system.

Things have worsened with the rise in texting and the fall in literacy rates. With a limited grasp of language, are we restricting the emotional intelligence of our workforce and their ability to express themselves?

On the whole, limited literacy restricts a population’s ability to be inspired by great works of literature, or appreciate incredible works of art. Could this also be leading to the ‘dumbing down’ of society? As a nation, this is something we really cannot afford.

As a people, we need to be polite.

Politeness ‘v’ Over-formality

Politeness should not be confused with over-formality. Over-formality is not polite, it is cold, stuffy and ineffective.

Politeness is friendliness in word and deed. It is opening a door for a stranger, or saying thank you to someone who has served you. Politeness is communicating your pleasure or displeasure in an appropriately assertive tone.

As a man with more than 10 years in customer service, I’ve read my share of complaints letters. In the vast majority of cases, the most effective letters were polite. Build empathy with your reader and they’ll help you more effectively.

Corporate Good Manners

You could argue that CSR (Corporate Social Responsibility) is the 21^st Century equivalent of good manners for business. Firms are becoming more aware of their impact on society, but I wonder, are people within those firms being polite to each other?

As a writer, I see rudeness every day. Emails are a prime example.

Instead of using the polite, “Can you?” or saying “Please”, or, “Do you mind” emails are swamped with “I need”, “Send me” “You must”

Now, you might think that I’m being over sensitive, but rudeness affects the bottom line.

A thoughtless email, sent to ‘hurry things along’ can actually be counter-productive. Time and again, I’ve seen staff become angry and instantly de-motivated because of the tone of an ill worded email.

Emails are instant, easily accessible and dangerous.

When you speak to someone on the phone you can hear their tone. You can usually determine their emotional state of mind. Angry, sad, sincere or tongue in cheek, you can usually gauge how the speaker feels.

With emails, the absence of a spoken tone makes gauging the emotional tone far harder.

Emails have another danger – they can be sent to other people – instantly. When advising others about sending tricky emails I apply The Watch Dog Test.

The Watch Dog Test

In a business setting, people should write only what they are comfortable sharing. Would you, for example, be comfortable if your email was sent to the consumer affairs programme Watch Dog, or used as evidence in a Court of Law? If not, don’t send it.

Talk to the Hand

I know I’m not the only one to see decency decline. In her fantastic book, ‘Talk to the Hand’ (half rant, half novel) Lynne Truss laments the decline of modern day manners. Her comedic rage struck a chord with many – 3 million people to be exact.

If I’ve struck a chord with you, then drop me a line.

Please and thank you.