Become a local super hero. Spend £5.

Freelance Copywriter Babu Basu lends his voice to the ‘Totally Locally Campaign,’ encouraging people to spend just £5 locally, each week.

The Background.

Surprise, surprise. Bad financial news is threatening to engulf us all.

Again.

But despite an overwhelming wave of fiscal fatalities and endless economic drudgery, I’m happy to report that there are still those of us who are prepared to fight the good financial fight.

Woe is me. Woe is you.

The last three years has seen the decimation of many a business – locally and globally.

Major economies seem set to disappear down precarious pecuniary precipices and many customers and traders have simply lost their way (if not their livelihoods).

Panic, panic! The end of the world is nigh.

Prices are rising, consumer confidence is falling and wages have been frozen or cut. In response to this, many of us are buying less.

According to Stephen Robertson, Director General of the British Retail Consortium,

“In July, all types of shopping locations saw reduced footfall year-on-year and that was before the effect of this month’s disturbances in England.”

In the UK, average footfall was down 1%. And in selected pockets of the UK, the picture was much worse. Robertson estimated that in Welsh towns and cities, there was shortfall of 9.2%.

The Local Data Company visited every town in England, Scotland and Wales between  January and June this year, examining trading patterns in our local communities. In the six most severely affected towns,

“…between and a quarter and a third of all high streets lay empty.”

Happily, overall vacancy rates (shop units left empty) have fallen slightly from 14.5% to 14.3%.

However, according to Hopkinson, “This means that over one in eight shops across England, Scotland and Wales still lies empty.’

So we’re ready to give up then? No, not quite.

Amidst the monetary meltdown there is still hope. And it’s something that we, the economically ordinary can do something about.

The Totally Locally Campaign was started in Yorkshire in response to the rapidly diminishing number of local, independently run shops.

Totally Locally ask us to celebrate the “hidden jewels” embracing the quality and diversity of business in their areas we live in.

So how can we help?

Drum roll please…

Just spend £5 a week in local, independently run businesses and you help to plough significant amounts of money back into your neighbourhood.

That’s it? A fiver?

Yup. That’s it.

West Bridgford (south of Nottingham City Centre) has a population close to 36,000. If each resident invested the equivalent of £5 locally a week, this would equate to a cash injection of more than £9.3 million annually!

And for somewhere smaller, like Mapperley, with a smaller population of about 7,000, that’s still an impressive spend of £1,820,000.

So how does this help me?

A valid question.

Well, a better local economy will mean a wider selection of local products and businesses available to you. For foodstuffs or plants, this may mean better quality items that are grown in season and use minimal transportation.

Local food markets, or farmers’ markets are a fantastic morning out. Not only do you get to see fresh and intriguing goods you just wouldn’t see in the supermarkets, but you also get to gorge on the most delicious produce. Foodie heaven.

In the case of services, local businesses can offer a more personalised level of service based upon a greater degree of local knowledge and greater flexibility.

And the good news doesn’t stop there.

Increased local affluence will mean lower crime rates, more employment, increased quality of life, better schools and better educational attainment.

So save your community. Spend £5.

Love Indian Food. Hate Curry.

Ferocious Foodie and Freelance Copywriter Babu Basu, begs us all to stop using the offensive ‘C’ Word.

The offensive ‘C’ Word.

Curry, curry, curry. There, I have said it. Forgive me Madhur Jaffrey for I have sinned.

The awful C word has been bandied about for decades by the great and the not so good.

The word is lazy, inaccurate, misleading and sends a shudder down my culinary spine whenever I hear it.

As Indian food has become ever more popular, so has use of the awful C word. I’m not sure who to blame or how it came about, but here’s a few theories for you. (Forgive my temporary and wanton use of the C word).

How the bad language started.

If you do your research online (always a dangerous thing), some articles suggest that ‘Curries’, are so called because

1) They all have curry powder in them. They don’t. Only a few Indian dishes do.

Most recipes are be based upon a type of ‘Garam Masala’ – a blend of roasted and ground spices used to make a dish  aromatic and flavoursome.

2) Some people have suggested that ‘Curries’ are made with Curry Leaves. Not usually.

3) I have even heard it suggested that Curry comes from the word ‘Korai’ a two handled bowl-shaped cast iron pan in which the food is cooked. Oh dear me no.

However the term was started, it was probably helpful for the Brits who at the time, were occupying India. India was (and is) a land of immense diversity. Bewildered Brits needed a way to simplify life in an unruly India. Bringing law and order was more important than learning about the local food.

Brits of today no longer rule India, but they are a lot savvier about Indian food. They’ve embraced the cuisine of the sub continent in most impressive way. Pubs, restaurants and even supermarkets are offering a range of dishes – from the sublime and authentic right down to the silly and unpleasant.

When is Curry not a bad word?

In the Far East, the term ‘curry’ has its place. If for example I saw on the menu, ‘Thai Red Curry’, or “Thai Green Curry’ I would know what was being offered and the type of taste it would provide. Curry can be descriptive in the right context. But to use it to describe an entire cuisine is unhelpful.

C is for Changeable.

India is a vast country. Her people are as diverse as the dishes they produce. No one word can do justice to the variety of food on offer.

Traditionally, where you lived affected the type of dish you cooked. Generally, the further down south you travelled, the hotter the food got.

The availability of local ingredients also had a big impact on the type of food you produced.For example, coastal areas developed fish and seafood dishes, whilst regions with coconut trees would feature coconut in much of their cooking. Religion would also influence what people could eat. In predominantly Hindu areas, it was much harder to find beef dishes, whilst in predominantly Muslim areas you wouldn’t find pork.

Some branches of Hinduism and Buddhism discouraged their followers to eat meat or fish altogether. One sect even went as far as banning the use of root vegetables, lest any insects be harmed whilst digging.

As in any other country, recipes in India can vary from family to family. Differing blends of Masala, differing ingredients and different techniques create food that is sometimes subtle and  sophisticated. Sometimes it’s powerful and pungent. And sometimes it’s sweet and smooth.

Indian food is often accused of being too hot. Without doubt, some of it is. But it doesn’t have to be. The word ‘spicy’ is misused when describing food with ‘heat’. It is not the spice that packs the punch – well not usually. It’s the chilli.

I recently visited Goa, on the west coast of India. When asking for dishes that were described as ‘not hot’ I was served food that had my eyes running and my head burning. A trip to Domino’s Pizza (yes they have them there too) revealed a whole host of pizza ingredients including an officially not so hot (read hot) mincemeat and a volcanic tandoori chicken as hot as the tandoor oven from whence it cam.

Bengali food (originating from the province of West Bengal in India and from what is now Bangladesh) is, on the whole a more subtle affair. Their flavours tend to be well balanced, often making great use of their fantastically fresh seafood. Bengalis also eat a lot of lamb and chicken, whilst their ‘Mishti’, (a selection of handmade desserts) can break the will of even the most disciplined dieter.

Cooked in many parts of India, Moglai food is an even more lavish affair. Based upon the cooking that came from the court of the Moghuls. The Moghuls, a hugely wealthy and influential dynasty who amongst other things, were responsible for building the Taj Mahal required food that reflected their status. Moglai food is the food of celebration and excess. Their rich, heady dishes are the Indian equivalent of classical French cuisine.

Nowadays, Indians live in  a whirling mass of religious, linguistic and cultural diversity. Economic migration, Partition and the real term fall in the price of travelling has meant that all kinds of ingredients are found in all manner of places. Because of farming practices, widely used ingredients in India like chicken and fish, are often better tasting then equivalent products in the UK.

The quality of beef and pork however, (not traditionally consumed in most of India) still has a long way go.

Bad food, bad language. Who else is responsible?

Bad Indian takeaways. based in the UK (often guilty of using the C word), have done Indian food a huge disservice. Because of their second rate output, UK residents were introduced to food that was greasy, flat tasting  and often vividly coloured. Many of Indian takeaways were also guilty of misusing the C word.

Such venues would be better served (and patroned) if they took the time to describe their dishes with more meaningful words. A well written menu should be educational as well as a vehicle to stimulate the senses and motivate expenditure.

Secondly, they should only produce a quality of food that they themselves would be happy to eat. At present, some restaurants create fare that is not fit for consumption.

Whether you are cooking for one or one hundred, Indian should not be inch deep in oil and grease. And when I see bland Indian food with unidentifiable ingredients, it makes me mad. Indian food is many things but bland it ain’t.

Just to make it clear, I am not criticizing all restaurants and takeaways. Some restaurants do their utmost to promote fantastic Indian food. Award winning venues like Saffron in Birmingham and Bombay Brasserie and Tamarind in London are constantly pushing boundaries and changing opinions.

But it’s not just the big places that are courtiers of quality. Small places like Babu’s in Southall (nothing to do with me I am afraid), or Prashad of Bradford are packed with Asian punters eager to eat. If you see a restaurant where most of the diners are the same ethnicity as the food being produced, you’re generally onto a good thing.

C is for Cantankerous

You may accept what I’ve said. You may even agree with me. But for those of you who like to label things, you probably won’t me to ‘take away’  the C word. What word could you use instead?

Well I’m going to be brave. I’m not going to give you an alternative. You don’t need one.

When talking about English food, not everything is referred to as  ‘stew’ and not every dish in Spain is Paella. We also have to stop being as ill informed about Japanese food. Not everything is sushi. Infact even the term sushi is often misused when people really mean Sashimi – raw fish.

So go out there, enjoy your Indian Food. Enjoy your Japanese food. Hell, enjoy it all. I only ask two things of you.

1) You eat in restaurants that care about the food they produce

and

2) You use the C word with care.

Happy dining.

Going for an English – Classic skit by Goodness Gracious Me

The Great Escape?

Whilst the UK shivers and shudders in the autumn weather, freelance copywriter Babu Basu recalls hotter, headier times in foreign climes and asks, why do sane people travel?

Late autumn in the UK is not a pleasant time. Icy winds, short grey days and forlorn vegetation overtake our once green and pleasant land. As the leaves leave and temperatures plummet, thoughts turn to escape.

Wish you weren’t here

Dive into the elegant travel posters from the 1920s and 30s and you immerse yourself in a sophisticated, exotic world full of mystery and intrigue. It is a passionate place where anything can happen and where you are better than you ever could be.

Sound like your holiday? Nope, not mine either.

Effective travel adverts (as with any form of able advertising) is there to make you spend money. And it does.

The heady mixture of better weather, better food and an unknown planet filled with glamour and intrigue causes us to overpack, overspend and overstretch our commonsense.

Nowadays, the relative cost of travelling has plunged and technology and media make our planet much smaller and more accessible. We are better educated in the ways of the world. We know more, so we go more.

But, at the end of the day, travel is dangerous, expensive and exhausting.                                                  So why do it?

The Myth

Travel is glamorous. That’s what the posters tell us. They draw us in with their rich colours and promise of better times, headier times.

But really.

There is nothing glamorous about the realities of travel in the 21^st Century. Aside from a wealthy few who travel in space and comfort, travel and in particular, air travel is a less than salubrious affair.

Space. Germs and DVT.

Farmers will tell you, laws protecting animals in transit abound in Europe. Legislation is rightly in place to provide a degree of comfort to animals on the move. Humans however, aren’t quite so fortunate.

If you’re around the 6 foot mark, do not expect to sit with ease. We’ve all got to fit a certain, small cubic capacity, and if we don’t, too bad. Travelling 7,000 miles is tough. Travelling 7,000 miles in cramped conditions is lunacy.

The sudden changes in temperature and being shut up in a small environment with over 300 people (many of whom have questionable hygiene and / or questionable manners), means that you are in a fantastic breeding ground for all manner of germs.

Oh. And let’s not forget about the D.V.T. or deep vein thrombosis. Being holded up at height, with variable amounts of oxygen in a tiny space with no room to move can lead to clots and manner of nasties in our blood.

Variable amounts of oxygen?

Yes, the amount and quality of air we breath on a plane is chosen by the pilot. Cash strapped airlines have been cutting corners and saving money and fuel by reducing the level of oxygen we get.

Let’s not forget the marvel that is insomnia, motion sickness or being dug in the ribs by your fellow passengers.

Mystery and Intrigue.

They say travel expands the mind, it does. And, if the food’s good, it expands the waistline too.

Travel increases our ability to contract strange and mysterious diseases and heightens our ability to lose important items in strange places.

I am still at a loss as to where all my travel adaptors go.

Every year I buy new travel adaptors and every year those adaptors disappear somewhere between my destination and my home. Where they go to, I can’t say, but I suspect it is in the same place that scarves, sunglasses, suitcase padlocks emigrate to.

Sleep tight? You might.

When we get to the hotel and the bed isn’t right, or in some cases, isn’t even there.

We’re bound to get Delhi Belly (whether you’re in Delhi or not) and drinking the water always makes us a tad nervous.

The flies are perverse and persistent and no doubt sent from Satan to torment and trouble. And the mosquitoes? The mosquitoes have been programmed to feast on your blood and your blood alone.

Ahh the glamour of it all.

So, if like me you’re stuck in a cold and icy land, cheer up! Atleast you don’t have to travel.

Sizzling CVs

With our economy in a state of flux, the CV has become ever more important. Freelance Copywriter and MBA graduate, Babu Basu shares some trade secrets to make your CV sizzle.

Our reality

Widespread redundancies, shrinking budgets and unstable markets mean that many of us are looking for new jobs. However, with more candidates going for fewer posts, we need a specialist piece of equipment to get us to interview. We need – a great CV.

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but

The truth? No one likes writing CVs for themselves.

It’s an onerous task whether you’re a young school leaver at the start of your career, or a high flying MBA graduate looking for the right role.

So what’s the problem?

It’s hard to summarise your expertise, your ability and your life’s work into a two page document.

In the UK we are very poor at singing our own praises – which is unfortunate if you need to write a CV.

The MBA problem

Creating CVs for MBA graduates is a complex task. We are a diverse bunch.

We come from different sectors. We’re all at various stages of our careers and we’re usually chasing positions that are highly desirable, highly paid and immensely difficult to attain. That is, immensely difficult if your CV isn’t up to scratch.

If you’re prepared to be brave, creative, selective and honest (yes honest), then your CV can help you reach interview stage.

Things to consider

Before you grab a pen and launch into CV writing mode, here are a few factors to mull over:

1.  Motivation – who are you writing the CV for?

For yourself surely? Well actually, no. You should be writing it for your potential employer.

Your CV needs to address the central question – are you right for the role?

Too many of us write CVs that are simply a list of everything we’ve ever done. Suitability to the role is never addressed.

Writing a good CV is similar to selling a house – you need to make things clear to the one you’re selling to. Don’t expect the hirers to ‘use their imagination’ or go hunting for the best bits, they simply won’t.

2.  Length – is bigger always better?

In the UK, the standard length of a professional CV is 2 pages.

Only exceed this length if the industry norm is for longer CVs.

The reality is, most employers have about 30 seconds to look over your CV. If you’ve not caught their attention quickly, the CV goes straight in the recycle bin.

3.  Layout and white space – a help or a hindrance?

If a CV is easy to read and is pleasing to the eye, it will get read. A CV that is harder to read, may not get read at all.

The layout of a CV is no longer considered as window dressing. Nowadays, greater competition for fewer jobs means that anything you do to improve your CV can have a huge impact. Or, as Tesco’s says, “Every little helps”.

Text should not be too small, nor should it be densely set out. Make sure there is plenty of ‘white space’.

Professional copywriters use the blank space on the paper to motivate us to keep on reading. White space allows the eye to rest and then draws it down the page.

4.  Use sub headings to catch the eye.

Using a second font helps as does using another colour. Be warned though. Some colours cannot be seen by everybody. People who are colour blind may have trouble reading anything written in red, green or brown. And avoid using fonts or effects that are hard to take in quickly.

5.  Be brave – be conventional when you must and innovative when you can

Certain industries or certain employers may have a set CV layout or convention that you need to follow.

If your industry tends to be conservative in nature (eg Law or Finance) keep your CV smart but conservative. If however, you are looking for a job in the creative industries (eg advertising, design or copywriting) I’d recommend a CV that looks innovative and engaging.

One of the most beautiful looking CVs I have seen was for a graphic designer. It was great for her, but would look very wrong for an accountant.

6.  Never lie – but don’t be too honest

Never ever lie on a CV. You will be found out.

Recently a man lied about his experience to get a job as an NHS Hospital Chief Executive. Once hired, it soon became clear he’d lied. He was very publicly shamed, fired and sent to prison.

But whilst I implore you never to lie, I beg you not to be overly truthful.

I have seen CVs where candidates have actually listed which roles they have been fired from, why they were fired and what they actually thought about their previous employer.

Your CV is an edited version of you. As they say in Big Brother, “Here are your best bits”.

7.  Junk the jargon – keep the language simple

Unless you are going for a specialist job and you know only other specialists will read it, avoid jargon.

Nowadays, your CV is likely to pass through many hands before it reaches the hirer and firer. With this in mind, keep language clear and unfussy.

Never use words that you cannot explain in the interview. It will simply ruin your credibility and erode your confidence. And never make a claim in your covering letter or CV if you can’t show evidence in your work history.

And finally, use action words like ‘managed’, ‘ran’, ‘oversaw’. They suggest that you were good in previous roles and will be great in the job you’re about to get.

Good luck everyone!

Newsletters. Just say no.

They’re boring, ineffective and overwhelming an inbox near you. Freelance business writer Babu Basu warns against the rise and rise of the unwanted newsletter.

Opening your emails has just got a lot more dangerous.

We’ve all heard about vicious viruses and techie bugs that go crunch in the night. Now however, something new and appallingly mundane resides in your computer.

Ladies and gentlemen, it pains me to bring you ‘the unwarranted newsletter’.

In the noughties, the electronic newsletter fast became the darling of marketeers. Every company, group or individual thought they had something important to share. And come hell and high water, they were gonna share it.

The theory

In theory, email based marketing, is the ideal.

Low cost, punchy, instantaneous and environmentally friendly. Electronic newsletters should be the holy grail of marketing, shining in a sea of promotional gold. Alas, as we know, all that glitters is not so precious.

The dull reality

Dull, ineffective and clogging up your inbox – 9 times out of 10, newsletters are baaaad news. As a commercial writer it pains me to say this.

Members of my profession (well the better ones) fight continuously against dullness. Our job is to write sparkling copy for our clients. However, not everyone keeps a good copywriter to hand.

If appals me that some sellers bore the people they wish market to. We might think that it is our right to exploit technology, but it is not a right. It is both a privilege and responsibility. I’d like people to think of marketing as I do about quality broadcasting.

You do not have an automatic right to be on the airwaves, or beaming into peoples’ living rooms. If you’re lucky enough to have the access, use it with respect and don’t waste the opportunity.

If you’re going to invade someone’s inbox, the same rules apply.

Sending any form of marketing by email means you have a duty of care to the recipient. Mail out news that is worthy of the audience. This means that it needs to be well written, interesting and (here’s the biggie) relevant to the person.

Send boring, badly written, irrelevant tosh and people will simply delete it. Persist with this strategy and people start to get angry. And when that happens, you will never sell to them again.

The information tsunami

Each day we are enveloped by an information tsunami – flooding us with facts and drowning us with data. There was a time when people were just impressed to receive anything in their electronic post. Nowadays this no longer applies.

As we face the daily barrage of information, we have become more selective. For our own mental health, we’ve learnt to be switch off.

It is our only way of avoiding information overload.

Information overload

BBC Learning English defines information overload as “a situation when you get so much information you are not able to think about it all clearly and it makes you tired and confused.”  http://www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/learningenglish/language/newsextra/2010/02/100218_nw_information_society.shtml

Sound familiar?

According to secretsofexamsuccess.com, we retain 10% of what we read, 20% of what we hear, 30% of what we see, 50% of what we hear and see, 70% of what we say, 90% of what we do.

Scary statistics.

If you want your newsletter (or any other piece of writing) to be effective consider reader motivation.

Reader motivation

If you understand what motivates someone to read, you are more likely to write for the reader, not for yourself. The reader is the most important person on the page /  screen. So, ask yourself the following:

1)     Does the reader need to read your writing to survive?

2)     Does your reader need to read your writing because of work?

If the answer is no to the first two questions, then ask yourself the two more questions. And you need to be honest:

3)     Would the reader really enjoy what I have written?

4)     If the writing was sent to you and you were not connected with the subject, would you want to read it?

If you cannot answer ‘yes’ to atleast one of the last two questions, scrap the newsletter.   Go shopping, have lunch, insult passers by if you must. Just don’t send the email.

Courteous advice

In my piece ‘Manners – worthless or so very worth it?’ I considered the importance of manners in business. Manners in marketing, is equally important.

Only send newsletters  to those who have willingly subscribed to them.

Serial networkers take note – collecting a business card at a meeting does not give you the automatic right to overpower inboxes with the mundane and meaningless.

Treat the inbox with respect.

Remember the point of marketing is to inform, interest and eventually sell. If you bore people you miss the opportunity to sell. You also help to undermine your own reputation.

And don’t equate length with efficacy.

Unlike gold, effective marketing is not measured in terms of weight. Instead, think about how diamonds are valued.

Your marketing needs to sparkle and have brilliance. It’s all about clarity and quality. Quantity comes in a very poor third.

Size, as they say, is not everything.

Be afraid. Be very afraid. The seven deadly sinsss are upon us.

Freelance writer Babu Basu warns writers and readers to beware.  The seven deadly sins of bad writing are watching and waiting…

…ready to jump onto a page near you!

In the 21^st century Voodoo doesn’t trouble us. Seances make us smile and horror films… we watch them to unwind. On the face of it, the knowledge and cynicism of the modern world keeps many demons at bay.

Many, but not all.

The bad news.

There is still one terror that permeates into business, advertising, marketing and almost any medium that uses words. This horrifying phenomenon eats away at profitability, reputation, success and in some cases, even your freedom.

The background.

When we write we are constantly being judged on the content and delivery of our words. What we say says a lot about us.

If your writing doesn’t possess the X Factor, then being judged on it is not a happy occurrence.

The need to write anything (be it an essay, blog entry, web content or heavens forbid, a book) can instantly turn otherwise brave and rational people into gibbering, quivering wrecks.

What should I say? How should I say it? Is the grammar correct? What about punctuation? What will people think? Will they like it? Will they hate it? Will they even be bothered to read it?

The seven deadly sins are bad news for business. Not heard of them? Well you will. Gird your loins everyone, I’m going in…

The evil begins – badly smelt bossinesssss rittting (badly spelt business writing)

A little mistake here, a little mistake there. We’ve all been guilty of this one. The modern world is about speed. We don’t have time to proof read. Do we?

We should.

Badly spelt words send out the message that we don’t care. Not only can we not spell, but also, we can’t be bothered to use the spell check or dictionary. And if we are sloppy in what we say, how sloppy are going to be with the product or service we provide?

A silly as it may seem to some, bad spelling is a fantastic way to lose customers or lose any authority we may have previously had.

The second evil – no punctuation at all ever and ever amen

Here’s a shock! Punctuation is not just for the grammar police.

It is there to inject sense into a sentence. Punctuation can emphasise a point, speed up or slow down the flow of words, or, as in the case of the comma, tell us when to draw breath.

Always remember, punctuation is there for the most important person on the page – the reader. Little or no punctuation tells the reader you don’t care about them and you’re not bothered about their opinion.

The third evil – Overrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr       EXCITEMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Adverts are notoriously bad for hyperbole. Hot for the hype.

This is a superb way of tiring the reader. Words have a rhythm. When you get over excited, your ears tire. Companies take note, shouting in adverts does not make people listen any better. It actually makes people switch off.

It’s not persuasive. It’s not credible. But it is one of the quickest way of to drive customers away.

And avoid the overuse of capitals – it is shouting in print.

The fourth evil – Liar liar, pants on fire.

Write lies and you will be in trouble.

Not only will this affect your reputation, it can also affect your freedom and/or your bank balance.

If you knowingly write untruths about a person, place, product or situation you could find yourself in court, facing libel charges.

Fancy facing a corporate manslaughter charge? If you deliberately write an untruth about a product and your product kills somebody, you could be facing a very long prison sentence.

This is the very worst sin. Stay away from it.

The fifth evil – Boring boring boring boring  boring.

Sadly, insipid and uninspired writing is rife.

Businesses who bore their customers with tired, lifeless work, lose the attention of their customers and with it, the opportunity to sell.

You cannot afford to bore. If you truly cannot write with wit, hire someone who can.

The sixth evil – Fat and flabbbbbbby

No, this is not a reference to my waistline, but a fat and flabby way of writing. This will shock some people – Customers and suppliers will not wade through bad writing just to get to ‘the best bits’.

With effective communication, ‘less is more.’  Tell people what they need to know and then get the hell out.

The sixth evil is a great way to anger your reader. If you’ve got your mind set on being excessive, give readers the name and number of your competitors, because that’s where you are sending them.

The seventh evil – Lost and going nowhere

A good piece of writing needs direction. However, if you don’t know where you going, how is your reader supposed to know? A clear line of thought/argument is necessary if you want your readers to follow.

If it helps, use subheadings and signpost your readers. They’ll appreciate your effort.

Anymore evil?

Sadly, yes.

Sins against writing grow strong in number. I call on you, the intelligent, thinking public to help me find examples of bad writing and send them to me.

Let’s fight the good fight.

The Disposable Customer

The world is bursting with throw-away items – convenience is key, consumption is king. But, as disposability becomes ‘de rigueur’, should our customers be throw-away too?

Freelance writer Babu Basu, is both besieged and bemused by bad customer service and watches firms deliberately discard clientele and the cash they bring in.

Losing the logic

Logic says that when times are tough and customers are few, we work hard(er) to find work. Logic suggests that we put more effort into presenting ourselves well and treating customers and potential customers with respect. And, logic says, if we deal with customers who have a problem, we try our outmost to sort it for them.

Alas, logic does not talk to everyone.

Those of you who have read my piece, ‘The Muppet Tax’, will know that when it comes to customer service, I do not write from an ivory tower. I have no romantic notions that the customer is always right. They aren’t.

However, when things go wrong, companies should be doing their best to put them right. They should, but they’re not.

The customer is key

We all hear companies chant the familiar, “The customer is key to our business”, but how many believe it? Watch consumer shows like the BBC’s Watchdog and you’ll be overwhelmed by firms that deliver outstandingly bad service. Organisations with ironically named ‘help lines’ keep customers waiting for over 2 hours with recorded messages, before a human being is able to talk to them.    2 hours!

I understand that sometimes things go wrong and technology can let you down. Sometimes, freak weather or staff illness can stop people manning the phones. But, when a company regularly makes customers wait for unreasonable amounts of time, it shows a total disregard for the customer, and, a limited comprehension of how business actually works.

You may have a product that people want right now, however, if you can’t look after your current clients, there’s little chance that you can look after future ones.

Fans, rocket science and the marketeers

Marketing professionals will tell you brand is everything. It is important, but reputation and customer service can make or break a brand.

And, I am sad to say, a lot of it is in the hands of the top directors. If they understand the importance of customer service, they will invest in it. They will empower their staff to sort out problems. They will keep call times down to a minimum and they will instil a ‘how can we help’ attitude. All things being equal, the company will prosper.

Companies with a ‘how much can we get away with’ mantra, will fail to win our hearts and our wallets. It’s not rocket science, yet many companies fail to grasp it.

Directors who view their customer service department as a ‘necessary evil’ are missing the point. A good customer service department defends and creates your brand and wins back customers. It is a place where customers are turned into fans – people who will rave about your service and your product to all that will hear them. Fans give you free advertising, and, assuming you have enough of them, will make you very successful indeed.

Manners – worthless or so very worth it?

In a 24 hour world, where the bottom line is key, freelance writer Babu Basu asks, “Should we make time for manners?”

Cash is king they tell me, and they’d be right.

At one point or another, all entrepreneurs have lost sleep worrying about liquidity. Assets are useful, staff are supportive, but cash… cash is the Swiss army knife in an entrepreneur’s inventory. With a million and one uses, money is of major importance, but should it be our only concern?

Some would say I’m being naive, but I believe that manners and decency should take equal billing.

Firms need to think about the impact their activities have on the rest of the world. In carrying out those activities, staff need to think about manners and their effect on people they work with.

The manners?

There was a time when we used to say, “Manners maketh the man”. How you behaved was a mark of the person you were.

The UK population was famed for its good manners. Jokes were made about it. Watch National Lampoons European Vacation and you’ll see Brits apologising when other people tread on their feet, or crash into their car.

How things have changed.

According to an article written by Murray Wardrop, from The Telegraph dated December 2008, Britons are “becoming ruder than ever as our lives become more stressful and hectic.”

I wonder, are companies too focused on the financials, massacring our manners? Is the emphasis on the ‘here and now’ damaging our ‘going forward’?

But don’t just blame business. Have a look our failing education system.

Things have worsened with the rise in texting and the fall in literacy rates. With a limited grasp of language, are we restricting the emotional intelligence of our workforce and their ability to express themselves?

On the whole, limited literacy restricts a population’s ability to be inspired by great works of literature, or appreciate incredible works of art. Could this also be leading to the ‘dumbing down’ of society? As a nation, this is something we really cannot afford.

As a people, we need to be polite.

Politeness ‘v’ Over-formality

Politeness should not be confused with over-formality. Over-formality is not polite, it is cold, stuffy and ineffective.

Politeness is friendliness in word and deed. It is opening a door for a stranger, or saying thank you to someone who has served you. Politeness is communicating your pleasure or displeasure in an appropriately assertive tone.

As a man with more than 10 years in customer service, I’ve read my share of complaints letters. In the vast majority of cases, the most effective letters were polite. Build empathy with your reader and they’ll help you more effectively.

Corporate Good Manners

You could argue that CSR (Corporate Social Responsibility) is the 21^st Century equivalent of good manners for business. Firms are becoming more aware of their impact on society, but I wonder, are people within those firms being polite to each other?

As a writer, I see rudeness every day. Emails are a prime example.

Instead of using the polite, “Can you?” or saying “Please”, or, “Do you mind” emails are swamped with “I need”, “Send me” “You must”

Now, you might think that I’m being over sensitive, but rudeness affects the bottom line.

A thoughtless email, sent to ‘hurry things along’ can actually be counter-productive. Time and again, I’ve seen staff become angry and instantly de-motivated because of the tone of an ill worded email.

Emails are instant, easily accessible and dangerous.

When you speak to someone on the phone you can hear their tone. You can usually determine their emotional state of mind. Angry, sad, sincere or tongue in cheek, you can usually gauge how the speaker feels.

With emails, the absence of a spoken tone makes gauging the emotional tone far harder.

Emails have another danger – they can be sent to other people – instantly. When advising others about sending tricky emails I apply The Watch Dog Test.

The Watch Dog Test

In a business setting, people should write only what they are comfortable sharing. Would you, for example, be comfortable if your email was sent to the consumer affairs programme Watch Dog, or used as evidence in a Court of Law? If not, don’t send it.

Talk to the Hand

I know I’m not the only one to see decency decline. In her fantastic book, ‘Talk to the Hand’ (half rant, half novel) Lynne Truss laments the decline of modern day manners. Her comedic rage struck a chord with many – 3 million people to be exact.

If I’ve struck a chord with you, then drop me a line.

Please and thank you.

If you’ve got it… flaunt it.

 At a time when the world is in financial hibernation, many of us have ceased our spending, when we should be flashing our cash.     

In a follow up to his article ‘The Credit Crunchie’, Freelance Writer Babu Basu knows that if you’ve got it, you really should flaunt it.

 

Flaunting it

Now let’s be clear, when I say ‘flaunting it’, I’m not promoting widespread nudity or the losing of clothes. The flaunting I advocate is financial.

Apparently, our economic situation is worsening day by day. Everywhere the media looks, there are job losses, company closures and a shrinking global economy. Financially speaking, the end of our world is nigh.

Isn’t it?

Before we shut up shop and hurl ourselves out of the nearest window, might there be things we can do?

Perhaps our first move should be to ignore the media.

 

Ignoring the media

For the last 6 months, the media has successfully swamped us with misery and gloom. Hope, creativity and entrepreneurial thought are nowhere to be seen. The long standing trust in banks, building societies and the way we do business has all gone without a trace. In short, we are doomed.

Really?

Whether or not you agree with the media’s assessment (and I certainly don’t), you can’t deny the impact that the media plays on our lives. Now, more so now than at any other time in history, media is everywhere – it is portable, consumable and forming an opinion somewhere near you.

A great deal of fuss is made about ‘the free Press’. I think the focus should now be on ‘the responsible Press’. Journalists, TV producers and editors need to consider the moral, social and economic implications of their work. In short, they need to understand the concept of ‘social cost’.

Social Cost.

In Economics, ‘social cost’ considers the non-monetary value of producing an item.  Thus, the true cost of air travel includes the monetary value of the ticket (fare plus taxes) as well as its social cost (pollution). Journalists need to understand that their work can pollute too.

I know what you’re thinking.

Responsible journalism with a social conscience is pretty thin on the ground. You’re right. So, in its absence, might I suggest some other alternatives?

 

Flashing the cash

As strange as it may seem, now is the time to be spending.

Firms scared by what they see in the media, are desperate to spend less, right at the time when they should be spending more.  If you need more people to buy from you, then you need to be spending more on your marketing.

Creatives are worth their weight in gold. First rate graphic designers, marketeers, writers and PR professionals can help your company re-brand, refresh and re-invigorate. They have the knowledge and the creativity to help you navigate these murky financial waters.

Granted, it’s hard to flash the cash if you don’t have any, and even if you do, you may not feel like flashing. So, how about a spot of discreet flashing?

 

Flashing discreetly

Remarketing doesn’t have to cost a fortune, and if you’re canny, you’ll take full advantage of the sizeable discounts offered by retailers and service providers.

Now I could argue that it is your moral duty to spend. You (yes you) need to put money back into the economy and you need to do it now. The Government has spent billions injecting money into the economy, however, until we all start to invest, nothing will change. Disagree with my morals if you must but don’t disagree with my economics. Your economy needs you, now.

Improving customer service

In a bid to reduce costs, many firms have skimped on the training of staff and down played the importance of customer service. Silly.

Right now companies should be fighting to hold onto customers as well as striving to find new ones. The best companies don’t just compete on price. It’s the extra things like first rate customer service and detailed product knowledge that will have your customers coming back for more.

 

Standing out from the crowd

Use a bit of imagination, take risks (small ones) and stand out from the crowd. In a marketplace that is increasingly becoming more uniform in its appearance, standing out will pay dividends – literally.

Finally,

Just hang on in there

The economy will pick up and things will get better.   Till then, flash with discretion.

 

Kolkata (Part II) – May the forcefeeding be with you

Freelance writer, Babu Basu finds his stomach bullied into submission and practices the national sport of haggling.

 

Back in the mists of time, the people of Kolkata ate to live. In a country where sustenance was scarce, people ate enough, just enough.

 

Over indulgence was saved for weddings, birthdays and major religious occasions.

 

To show you cared, you fed. To Indians the concept was clear:

 

If you liked someone, you fed them.

 

If you loved someone, you overfed them.

 

And if you really really loved someone, you fattened them up to sell at market.

 

At a time when we didn’t eat well, this wasn’t a problem. The occasional bout of gluttony was a good thing. It bolstered the spirit and the body.

 

But times have changed.

 

Over the years, the world developed more efficient farming methods, increased levels of prosperity and decreased levels of physical activity.

 

 

More and more of us ate more and more.

 

As India joined the modern world, the diet became modern too.

 

Initially, Indians began to eat better.  They were now head and shoulders above their forebears. And stronger too.

 

Mortality rates fell and the quality of life shot up.

 

 

Then, the really modern diet hit.

 

High fat, high sugar and low fibre became the norm, along with diabetes, high blood pressure and heart disease.

 

Attitudes changed.

 

Suddenly it became normal to be overweight. Obese people were referred to as ‘quite healthy’. The notion of a ‘desirable weight’ grew to accomodate expanding waistlines.

 

Look round Kolkata now and you’ll see billboards advertising milk, featuring overweight children. The suggestion is clear, use this product and your children will be well fed and fat as these children.

 

Suddenly obesity has become aspirational.

 

Now you understand the mindset, I can introduce the concept of:

 

“Eat, eat!”

 

For years, relatives would surround me with food.

“Eat, eat”, would be ringing in my ears and in my belly. My hosts took offence if I couldn’t eat atleast my own body weight in one sitting.

 

 

It also became clear that if I hadn’t been in India for two years, I needed to eat two years worth of food during my two week stay!

 

If I ‘d consumed twice the amount of food I’d normally eat, that was an poor show on my behalf. Surely there was something wrong with me. And if not, there eternal question, 

 

“Are you dieting?”

 

Eating light is never an option here. Feigning illness is your only route out.

 

Thinking about it now, perhaps I don’t bargain enough. The next time I’m overfed, I should haggle.

 

I won’t eat everything, but if I eat another spoonful of food, or finish another bowlful of dessert, perhaps they’ll harass me less. Haggling after all is in their blood.

 

 

Haggle, haggle, haggle.

 

For those of us used to ‘fixed pricing’ in shops, haggling is a real education.

 

Shopping is a minefield of over charging and petty squabbling.

Prices are no-where to be seen.

 

Instead, buyers are required to ask, “How much?”

And so it begins…

 

 

The sport of haggling…

 

The buyer and the seller go back and forth in time honoured tradition. The battle moves forward thus…

 

The seller states his inflated price. (It’s usually a he).

 

Then the buyer (usually a she) scolds the seller for his price and tells him that his products aren’t that fresh.

 

The seller counteracts by claiming that he has the best produce in the market.

 

The buyer prepares to move onto another stall. The seller then plays his trump card – the price mysteriously tumbles.

 

The buyer then stops and considers the produce with renewed interest. Perhaps the goods aren’t quite so bad after all.

 

As the produce is bought, the buyer offers another a scolding. “The produce better be good, or there’ll be trouble!”

 

The seller for his part, reassures the buyer that the produce is A-grade and throws in a bit of flattery for good measure.

 

How could he ever sell someone so wise anything that wasn’t up to scratch? 

 

With that, money and goods are handed over and the game draws to an end.  

 

The fixed price game

 

To dissuade Indians from haggling, (a national sport, second only to cricket), certain shops display a ‘Fixed Prices’ sign in their window.

 

To the uninitiated or less brave, this sign signals the end of haggling. The goods are one price, and that is that.

 

Erm….

 

To the brave shopper, or the not so busy shopkeeper, it is merely another step in the game of haggling.

 

Sellers state their price. Buyers complain and demand a discount.

 

Sellers point to a sign that says ‘Fixed Price’.

 

Buyers moan and think about leaving the shop.

 

Sellers keep buyers in the shop, showing them better produce

 

Buyers ask “What is your best price?” Sellers sigh and give a discount.

 

Buyers accept and money is handed over. 

 

Both parties have played well.

 

 

Foreigners complicate the game

 

If the seller suspects you of being a foreigner, then the rules change.

 

Prices treble before your very eyes and discounts diminish.

 

The seller assumes that as a foreigner, you have no idea of the correct price. Nine times out of ten, they’re right. My advice? Go shopping with locals.

 

The seller initially puts out a foolishly expensive price. He then is soundly rebuked by all in the shopping party.

 

The seller, now suitably admonished, pulls in his prices and alters his demeanour. He knows he’ll know have to work harder to get that sale.

 

 

It amuses me that in a Communist led province, trade can be quite so ‘entrepreneurial’. The local government, not known for its energy or ability to get things done in a hurry could learn a lot from its enterprising citizens.

 

 

How does a seller know if you’re a foreigner?

 

Now, you might think that only people of a different skin colour are obvious ‘foreigners’. But you’d be wrong.

 

Indians who live in England, Europe or America are easy to spot – even before they open their mouths.

 

They look different. They act differently. They even stand differently differently.

 

You can spot a non-local Indian way across a crowded room or noisy market place. They really do stand out.

 

In cities like New Delhi, or Mumbai, where fashions change and money swirls about, spotting foreign Indians is much harder.

 

Not so in Kolkata.

 

Foreigners are seen either as innocents, or mysterious puzzling creatures from strange places. Why are they here? Why are they among us?

 

It’s as if E.T. landed in the middle of South Kolkata and demanded to know,

“How’s it hangin’?”

 

But it’s not all bad news. Being a ‘mysterious foreigner’ can be glamorous too.

 

 

The movie star is here.

 

Kolkata, more than any other city, makes me feel like a movie star.

 

People will stare at me wherever I go.

 

Whether it’s my clothes, my skin colour (a few shades lighter then most locals), my height (about a foot higher then some people) or something else, I know I stand out.

 

At first, it’s quite disconcerting. People stop and stare. But you get used to it.

 

Surprisingly, my presence has stopped traffic, halted conversations and even slow kids playing in the street.

 

Some people pass me off as a minor Bollywood star, whilst others think I’m a new cricket player. In a cricket obsessed country, that’s a huge compliment.

 

I don’t have the guts to cash in on this ‘fame’. I have yet to demand the best seat at a restaurant, or say those immortal words,

 

“Do you know who I am?”

 

Join me next week when I look at Bengali food, discover a Chaucerian attitude to spelling and ask, “Is having a great meal reason enough to get married?”